whatever enters my mind, i write

Celebrity Look-a-Likes

2007-01-05T16:55:00.000-08:00

My Celebrity Look-a-Likes as recognized by a Software..
Wahahahaha

The 'Ayoh', Rightly Used

2006-12-08T14:26:00.000-08:00

It is here in Singapore that I hear people use 'Ayoh' in many situations. 'Ayoh' is actually a remark akin to 'Oh My' in English or 'Susmaryosep' in Tagalog. Say, you are doing some important document at work then suddenly you inadvertently closed the word processing program and did not save your 10-page document.. you just blurt out, 'Ayoh!'. Say, you are late for work, you saw your bus a hundred meters away, you run and frantically wave your arm to the driver but he is oblivious to your gesture and just speed off, you just blurt out, 'Ayoh!'. Say, you are taking the train and when the door slides open an overly eager auntie shoulders you aside so that she can take a seat, you blurt silently, 'Ayoh!'.

I actually experienced a situation where 'Ayoh' was rightly used. I should say, perfectly used..

My wife and I just had a hearty lunch at Orchard. We are on our way to Borders Bookstore when I saw a fruit stand. I suddenly craved for fruits. We bought some so I had some. Fruits are really good for your digestive system. Somehow it cleans your digestive tracts. Proof? After some time, my stomach began to growl. Not because of hunger but because it wanted to dispose of something.. you know what I mean. I need to answer the call of nature. I badly need to go because I really feel that the byproduct is at the tip of my large intestine, ready to be pushed to the rectum.. (scientific terms here.. no need for euphemisms, i guess.. hehe). So I said to my wife that I need to do business somewhere and I saw Scotts Shopping Center. Comparitively, there are fewer people there so I guess only few people would be inside the toilet. I went inside the CR (as we pinoys call it) and saw that the room is small and there are only two cubicles. One is being used and one is free. I went inside the free cubicle and did some business.. Here goess... It's gonna come out..

Yep.. the three states of matter, namely Solid, Liquid, and Gas, all came out at the same time!... BuRuWaaakkak... and then in 2 seconds came another.. BuRuKuwakwakkkkkk.... omygosh.. I think there will be a third one... and yep.. it came out.. BuRrruukKwakKKWakk.. Then suddenly, the man inside the occupied cubicle blurted out.. 'Ayyyohhhhhh!!'.. From what I heard on the other side, he quickly folded a newspaper, dressed up, opened the door, and went out in disgust.

Hahahahaha.. poor man.. a victim of my natural acoustics.. In this case, I believe, 'Ayoh' was rightly used. :-D

Yup, Cats Reveal the State of the Nation

2006-11-17T15:46:00.000-08:00

When you leave your country and live in another one, it is natural for you to see and feel the difference. One of the things that my wife and I noticed is the striking difference between stray cats in the Philippines and Singapore.

Stray cats in the Philippines are all malnourished. All have scars due to some battle over food or to beatings from street children high on glue. All of the stray cats are afraid of people. When you try to approach them the first time, they are always on their guard and they will always run away from you. They really need their 9 lives to survive at least 6 months.

Stray cats in Singapore are all fat, fluffy, friendly, and lazy. My wife and I noticed that when we eat at Hawker food areas. We were a bit surprised to see such big, fat cats.. a rarity in the Philippines. I guess this is where Garfield's cousins live.

I believe in order to know the wealth level of the nation, just observe their cats.

I posted a pic of a typical cat in the Philippines and a typical cat in Singapore. Go figure.

Singapoh Cat

Pinoy Cat

A.K.A Auntie Killer Ako

2006-09-24T02:06:00.000-07:00

yeah boy.. that' s me.. a.k.a. A.K.A.

also known as, Auntie Killer Ako.

a.) Subway Sangwich Auntie
when my wife and i were still staying at Ang Mo Kio (a good 1.5 hours travel to my workplace), we will meet at CityHall (since she works at Beach Road, a good 5 minute bus ride from her workplace) to have dinner... then we take a train and alight at Yo Chu Kang station to take another bus home... we usually have dinner at the Food Court at Raffles Mall or.. if we don't feel having oily food, we buy a sandwich meal at Subway (located at the Raffles Mall basement). I always queue and order for us and Auntie always man (or should i say, woman) the cashier.. sooo.. she knows me already except for my name..
we went back to the Philippines and stayed for 2 months there before returning here in Singapore.. we went to Subway again to have our usual sandwich meal.. and then.. auntie saw me.. her usual blank face brightened with a smile.. 'hey.. you were gone for a long time, lah.. where have you been? you went back, ah? it's good to see you again..'
i didnt order for a smile but i got one!

b.) Makan Auntie
Sooo.. i was gone for two months. In our office, we have no choice but to have lunch in the canteen.. our office is isolated.. sometimes it gives you the feeling that you are inside a prison.. anyway, i digress..
ok.. if i dont have a prepared lunch, i usually have chicken rice, indian food or.. malay food.. on my first lunch back at the office, i decided to have beef rendang... when auntie so me, she blurted out a joyous welcome.. 'MAKAAAANNN...!!' .. well, that may be my name for her, Makan.. hehehe.. it was if she saw her long lost son.. except she didnt cry.. well, that would be too overwhelming for me.. haha

c.) Ice Cream look Auntie
My wife and I saw a Mr Bean stall at Bedok and suddenly I craved for a Soya Bean ice cream.. I went inside, and ordered for one... the auntie, upon taking my order, looked at me with melting eyes.. then she went and made the ice cream for me.. she went back with the ice cream and looked at me again with the same look as she held and gave me the soya ice cream.. parang ice cream na natutunaw.. haha..
My wife noticed it and we just laughed at the funny situation..

d.) Other Auntie stories i could not remember

well, then, blablabla...

I dont know why I manage to brighten up some auntie's days.. Maybe because they lack smiling faces here in Singapore and somehow I have one to share to people regardless of race...

BOW.. from AKA

Ikea... ay, kaya!

2006-08-24T06:09:00.000-07:00

i had the impression that IKEA is a sosy shop.. a place where you will buy some stuff for home at a price higher than at any ordinary store.. but i was wrong.. my wife and i just rented an unfurnished unit here in Singapore and we went to IKEA to buy some stuff..

aside from the fact that things there are cheap, they come with weird names that make them sound sosy..

weird and funny..

hahahaha.. i had a good laugh when we bought a wooden shoe rack.. i was the only one there who found the name so funny.. it was called 'BABORD'....

babord babord babord babord.. Bwahahahahhahahaha.... !!!

anyway, what if the philippines started her own store just like Ikea? i would like to be in the creative team thinking of pinoy sounding names for all the stuff that the shop sells.. from scissors to bed frames...

let's see..

shoe rack - Sapatotoy
wall clock - orasmona
scissors - kakabukaka
plates - basaginmo
children's chair - liitpwit
sofa bed - kamasopa
bathroom mat - wiwisipsip

wahahahaha.... if there's anyone out there planning to start a pinoy ikea, hire me, please.. i want to have some fun..

gnight

FOF

2006-08-12T08:22:00.000-07:00

my wife and i.. we were excited.. oh yes, indeed.. we're going to have our honeymoon in singapore.. that was in the year 2004.. my last plane ride was in the year 1999 when my siblings and i went to thailand for a vacation.. the difference was, obviously, i was 5 years younger when i had my last plane ride..

we were inside the plane.. first time for us to be together inside a plane.. so i took my camera and asked the stewardess to capture the moment for us.. smile, click and flash... a worry-free smile is what you'll see in the photograph... ready to take off.. plane accelerating... engine noise increasing.. and then... we were flying.. flying.. and i peeked out the window and suddenly my heartbeat's tempo is increasing.. boomboomboomboom.. i got scared.. really scared.. because i realized that we were gaining altitude.. i had this feeling that i am falling towards the sky.. yes, falling towards the blue, blue sky.. my wife noticed my sudden fright... she must have thought that i am having a heart attack... i gestured her to rub my back.. yes, rub my back please.. that gave me comfort and security.... yes, that really helped.. i had the feeling that we were in a point of no return... it was not easy to tell the pilot to please return to earth... it wasnt easy.... but my wife's touch did help me a lot.. thank god for her...

when the plane is already in constant altitude and the seatbelt light was turned off, i was back to normal.. i feel safe and secure again....

syet... what was that experience??? my siblings and i were flying to hong kong and singapore yearly when i was in college and i was always at the window side... i enjoyed the feeling of flight.. i enjoyed the scene from above.. but what happened after 5 years??

... why this sudden Fear Of Flying?

.. i guess i am older already.. i guess i am old already...

..my goal now is to bring back the Alfred E. Neuman in me.. to bring back the 'What, Me Worry' credo into my being...

WMW, my friend, WMW... no more FOF please.....

here's to a healthier decade

2006-08-03T19:51:00.000-07:00

oyo-oyeah.. i am already 30 years old.. the beginning of my 3rd decade here on earth.. or is it the end of the second decade?

i am only 30 but have undergone two surgeries already requiring GA (general anesthesia) ..
1.) when i was 21
- i was studying at the University of the Philippines when i met this freaky accident. me and my friends have a free time one day and we were hanging around in our 'tambayan'. i challenged my friend to a friendly battle of arm wrestling. we were in the middle of our friendly fight when a large snap was heard in our tambayan... kapraaak!!!... whoa whoa whoa.. suddenly, my hand just lost its grip and my arm dropped on the table.. one of my friends asked us.. 'ano yun?? (what was that??)... i thought that somebody slapped me very hard on my bicep.. but i noticed something is bulging from my arm.. ngark.. i thought the tendon that connects my muscle to the bone snapped.. my friend (who was my challengee - if ever there's such a word..) accompanied me to the infirmary.. we went down from the 5th floor of the engineering building to the UP infirmary.. i was cradling my right arm with my left.. the female doctor who saw us thought that my accident was caused by a fraternity fracas.. she almost scolded us.. 'hay nakuu.. frat na naman yan,ano.. kayo talagang mga lalaki.. tsk tsk tsk'... hehehehehe.. but we told her that we were arm wrestling and not hitting each other with a lead pipe or paddle.. they took an xray of my arm without thinking of my comfort... i was such in big pain when i adjusted myself to the xray machine.. i was kneeling down as if praying in the garden of gethsamane.. after seeing my xray.. the female doctor was in shock... she told me that what she thought was a mere dislocation was actually a fracture.. sooo.. we got to get a ride in the UP ambulance and they took me to Capitol Medical Hospital where I will be confined and operated on the next day...

i wasnt really scared at all of the thought of me under anesthesia and virtually be a living dead for some hours... i was even curious.. one of the doctors asked me who i competed with in the arm wrestling.. i told him jokingly, 'sylvester stallone'.. hehehe.. i asked him.. 'sigurado po bang makakatulog ako?'... and he told me... 'hindi ka pa makakabilang ng sampo..'.. then all of a sudden, my eyes closed.. i tried to resist by opening it once more.. but then my eyes just closed and i could not remember a thing!.. it was a dreamless 'sleep'.. when i opened my eyes, it was all over.. the nurse said, tapos na.. i was very thirsty, my lips and throat were very dry.. i asked for water.. and she gave me some.. i saw the patient by my foot... he had his nose broken and he was in pain.. my right arm is already closed in cast.. and my right pelvic has slight pain for they performed bone grafting.. they took some bone from my pelvis and wrapped it around my fragmented right humerus...

i suffered from radial nerve palsy but with some prayers.. i was 90% healed...

2.) when i was 29
- i was already working in Singapore when this happened.. i had a slight pain just above the crack of my wet pooh... i felt a lump on the upper left side of the crack.... i researched in the internet and i surmised that it is pilonidal cyst.. swak na swak.. i was reluctant to go to a doctor because at that time, my wife and i do not have that much savings.. and i know it is quite expensive in Singapore to undergo some procedure... the doctor told me that he has to remove the pus.. and i have to undergo GA (again.. in my 20s)...

this time it was different.. i am no longer curious.. i was scared.. i know because there is a possibility, though remote, that i would not wake up after a GA... and because i am older now and married, i have responsibilities... on the operating table, my blood pressure was high.. my pulse rate was fast.. i told the doctor that i am scared.. he told me.. 'everyone is scared in a hospital.. dont worry i'll give you some medicines'... am not sure what medicine that was that they put in me intravenously but it made me calmer.. after that it was another dreamless 'sleep'.. when i opened my eyes the nurse told me that it was over... they were taking me to my room and my wife was by my side..

****
I am in my 30s already and I vow to have a healthier decade... I raised my glass of coke but i changed my mind and put it down... so I got a glass of distilled water, raised it, and drank from it... ahhhhhhh wahahaha.... Here's to a Healthier Decade.....

;-)

ah yohh

2006-08-03T05:00:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of nice things that you can say and read about Singapore. But not a single country is perfect.. so I now write the

Things That I Do Not Like in Singapore:

1.) Work Environment
- It seems that people here have very short tempers. They easily shout at you at work. Almost always, they are not open to the opinion of other people. They stick to what they think is the right thing to do - which is always their own idea. But when one fails, they are always on the defense.. shout at people first for it might save you from acknowledging your mistake.. Stress levels always seem so high because of the people you work with.

2.) Singlish
- Ah yohhh.. Uhtimehli you can no speak right english, lah...
It is to your disadvantage when you speak correct English because some might not understand you at all. This could be so frustrating...

3.) It's money money money...
- Sometimes people give me the impression that everything boils down to money.. whatever or however you do things... everything revolves around money..
oh well, that is one primary reason why we are working here.. hahaha..

... is it?

if i am the president of the philippines

2006-08-02T07:06:00.000-07:00

I have always been complaining of the mess in my country, the Philippines. What if I am given the opportunity to be the president? These are what I am going to do..

1.) Reinstate the Death Penalty
- for the first two years of my term, this will only apply to corrupt politicians for they are really the source of poverty in this country

2.) Change the Salary Structure
- scientists, innovators, and knowledege workers will be given the salary of what the present actors, actresses, and basketball players are receiving (around 200k a month?) .. while these entertainers will be given what the scientists, innovators and knowledge workers are presently earning (around 10k a month?).

3.) The Right of Suffrage to be given ONLY to taxpayers
- all hardworking Filipinos who pay the right taxes will be given the right to vote.. usually they are the ones who are educated and who knows who is the best to govern the country.. all those who rely on taxpayer's money (15/30 govt 'employees', squatters..) should sit down, shut up, and be willing to be lead by the intelligentsia

4.) Close ALL Diploma Mills
- Quality education will never be achieved by Diploma Mills whose primary goal is to earn money (just like any corporation).. I will CLOSE them all.. and establish high-standard colleges and universities.. I will hire foreign educators who are exposed to advanced sciences and has good command of the English Language and give them the challenging task of honing the minds of the Filipino youth.

5.) Be Serious on Eliminating Pollution
- All smoke-belching buses, jeepneys and cars should comply with the strictest environmental standards so that all of us are breathing cleaner air.

6.) Set up Call Centers and other BPOs in the Provinces
- Decongest Metro Manila by offering lucrative high-tech jobs in the Provinces

7.) Take Advantage of the clannish attitude of the Filipinos
- Since Ilocanos like to thrash Manilenos and Bicolanos like to trump on Cebuanos, I will set up an economically advantageous competition by setting an annual Regional contest where the Region who will be able to earn the highest gross domestic product will be hailed as the model Region and the citizens will be tax-free for the first 3 months of the year... NO CHEATING PLEASE...

8.) Bank on Tourism
- The Philippines could solely rely on tourism what with the beautiful beaches that we have..

9.) Discipline the Filipino Driver
- Stay on one lane! Goddamit... Don't cut! Signal your intention! Honor the rights of the pedestrian!

9.) Be Strict on Policy 1
- I always think that if these corrupt government politicians 'sacrifice' just one year of none-corruption... just one year.. all of the Filipinos will feel the positive effect on the economy.. To think that almost 25% of the GDP goes down the drain to corruption... DEATH PENALTY TO ALL CORRUPT POLITICIANS...